So I’ve had a tumblr for about six months now, and this is all the knowledge I have gathered so far:
1. David Bowie is the one true god and ye shall have no other gods before him
(admittedly I knew this before joining tumblr)
2. Supernatural is a show about several attractive men who do nothing but have sex with/dream of having sex with each other. Occasionally there are monsters and demons and somesuch but this is significantly less important than the sex.
3. Bacon is some kind of magical substance with the power to heal all wounds and make grown men weep
4. Despite having seen many pictures of fellow tumblr-ites that prove they are cute and in some cases downright hot, as well as having a lot of cool interests, OMG THEY ARE ALL SO UGLY AND QUIRKY AND GROSS AND WILL DIE ALONE AND UNLOVED WITH THEIR FANART BECAUSE WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO TOUCH THEM?? FOREVER ALOOOOOOONE
5. Sherlock is a show about two English men and their domestic issues who are probably having sex. Occasionally there is crime or somesuch but this is significantly less important than the sex.
6. Art made of unconventional things, (eg. crayons, hair, pencil lead, typewriters) is the best art
7. Doctor Who is the greatest show ever in the history of all things and what do you mean you’ve never seen it? What is wrong with you, you poor child, here take my DVDs, take them all and LEARN WHAT YOU’VE BEEN MISSING*
*Unless we are talking about Moffat who is apparently some sort of mind-raping evil warlock from another dimension masquerading as a television writer
8. Merlin is a show about medieval teen boys and their intense sexual tension. Occasionally there is magic and evil or somesuch but this is significantly less important than the sexual tension.
9. Xavier and Magneto are in love with such white hot passion that it burns your computer monitor to cinders (oh who am I kidding, that is pretty much canon at this point)
10. Captain America has little to interest in saving the world and is much more concerned with boning Iron Man and making sure he eats something other than cereal.
11. In the same vein, Loki is not an evil villain or even a whiny bastard but a sad little woobie who just needs a
good hard screwhug. (Note: for similar see Jason Todd/Red Hood)
Obligatory Harry Potter gif
(Dramatically drops mic and walks away)